nice and meaningful.

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
I'm chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me

I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There is nothing else to lose
There is nothing else to find
There is nothing in the world
That could change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

Desperate for changing
Starving for truthI'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you

I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment

^{gonna miss my pltmates. =}

guess whooooooo? check it out at e end of this series of pictures.. =) 

now now.. who's dat chiobu.. =) 

awwwwwww~ 

who's dat gal...? la la la la la la la... 

look at shappa. dats how she'll look like in abt 40 yrs time.. hafie act chio! eheh~ 

cat fight! 

hehe.. = 

shappa looks spastic! and fad. erm. normal. =) 

huahahhaah! its et! =) *peeeekaaaabooo!* 

 -

why is evrything happening so quickly? it's juz too difficult to let go. cedar ncc. =

 

part a specs. w/o evon. =| 

part as and specs =) 

merdin and i
Posted by Hello

mas and i
Posted by Hello

fadz and i =)
Posted by Hello

=

got lotsa things to write abt. but i got no mood now. feel so sick. haven finish studying chem.

bye.

MICHAEL CHIA SUX!

okeh. guess wad im gonna talk abt! heh. dat stupid moron! wad a b*st*rd! he was screaming at us during morning pt. wtf! actually i dun reli care. cuz i noe we did nothing wrong. but e fact dat he actually threatened us! so ridiculous! he kinda embarrassed himself infront of e entire cedar population who are already at e courtyard. wanted to pump us if we dun answer him? heh! he was scared. so he didnt. and he mentioned smth abt "four yrs in ncc, is dis how u answer ur teacher officers?!" walao. in my heart i was saying, "four years in ncc, we've been doin wat e other batches of specs did. and u wanna scold us becuz of our traditions and stuff." come on la. where's e sense in dat. he juz came and wans everyone to adapt to him. wtf! how pathetic.

now i cant reli wait to have nthg to do wit ncc. but part of me hurts to let go of all of it. memories and all. well...

okehs. gtg. gonna haf amaths remedial soon! btw, et is blogging in front of me too.

swirl later!

=)

hehe.  juz changed layout again. prolly gonna stay like dis till after exams or smth. newae, new theme. pink and swirls. tho e colour pink is not reli my type of colour. i think its sweet tho. =)

newaes, got lotsa amaths hw and 2 phy prac reports to be completed. so yeah.

think tmr part a specs gonna go down to ikea to buy stuffos. yepp. cant wait! =)

swirL later!

early night.
 
hoohoo~
 
nthg much to day actually. still abit sick. ya. =
 
newae, emi's hamster died. so sad. cheer up babe!
 
skool was fast today. malay was slack.. as usual. amaths was fine. after recess, had emaths, geog and ss/h.  kinda boring. was so sleepy during ss. ^-yawnz-
 
okehs.  gtg. wanna sleep la.
 
ps: tmr's racial harmony day! bringing alot of clothes for classmates. and shoes for fad. and digi cam. =)
 
nytesssssssssssssssssssss.

sickkkk.
 
haiz. im sick. ponned skool today. having bad flu. =S
 
gtg.
 
ps: ncc day went well. =)

ncc day parade!
 
okehs. so yest was fun! went bras basah to get materials for ROD prezzies! nice! den bumped into 2 part cs! hehe.. dey abit smile²..  newae.. den at outside seiyu dere's dis roadshow thingy. and i answered some crappy qn and won myself 4 movie tix! den fadhil gave us somemore. ok. so we went to watch. at e bugis junction rooftop! so romantic! dere were ten of us dere. den went home lor. at abt 11 liddat.
 
today got ncc day parade. hope everything will go on smoothly. so we dun hafta stand in e sun for so long. pray dat e minister's speech wun last so long. hope nobody will fall out. haizz. hope my back wun hurt. newae. i gotta get ready now. n its pass 1030 and im supposed to meet e macpherson peepz at 1115! heh. gonna be late. ok. wats new! =P  
 
tadaaa! haf a nice day! -mmuuuuuuuaaaaaacccccccckkkkkkkkkkssss-
 
 

irritated.

dunno why. but i feel so irritated ryt now. cuz of some stuffos. some pple juz dunno how to organise things properly. and juz blow up at others. i dunno la.

newae, tmr got phy remedial. after dat gg meet e rez to look at atuff arnd bras basah. rod stuff. juz in case some cadets have an access to my blog. i wun type out wad stuffos we givin dem. ya.  but i bet it will be nice. =)

 

  
 

still in shock.
 
ok. u'll wan to noe why. dat stupid dumbass juz tol dus dat we dun need to come for pts and parades anymore. wtf! and before dat he made e whole company do pumpings. wth. actually i dun reli care. cuz its only 10. dats not e shocking part. e ten pumpings he made us do did not affect me anyway. well, i was kinda irritated. wanna act garang. go fuck off larh. claire was behind me and she kept saying 'go fuck off lah!' and stuff liddat.
 
den, after e cadets bersurai-ed, he told us dat we need not come for pts and parades! like hello? cant u tell us like way before dat?? so much for respecting our ranks. walaoo.. and we din even get to say our 'last gudbyes' and stuff.. so evil.. kinda felt like crying wen i think abt it. i noe dat its only e matter of time before we officially step down. but u noe, telling us on dat day itself! dats e meanest thing sumone can do. ok. not reli. he did other mean stuff to our plt and company!
 
-haizz.. abt only afew more weeks left before POP and ROD.- 

cool songs!

heyz. so i got fad to burn a cd for me! haha! all malay songs tho. KRU. nice babeh. all e old songs. was listening to it using discman while studying geog. now im listening hiphop non-stop thingy. ya. new one. dunno where my sis got it frm. nice new songs. yupp.

ok.. gtg now. ciao! =)

stooopidd.

lalala. came up here to blog awhile. btw, im in comp lab. was doin phy report. and i realised my readings were, well, too perfect. and after awhile, decided to ask fad and hafie. guess wad. i did e whole expt wrongly. wow! felt reli stupid. im like so pathetic. how to pass physics like dis. fuck la. simple things like reading instructions properly also i cannot do. hiazzz~

newae, i gotta go home and study geog! wait. still got e dumb malay compo. smth geography-ish too. kinda very diff to translate into malay. i'll prolly take e whole day to complete it. good luck.

newae, its already almost e end of week 3. which mean we are dat closer to prelims. abt 4 more weeks. aka ONE MONTH or so. walao. if i were to screw up, i hope i wun screw up dat badly. i gotta do dis seriously man. its no more playtime.

i noe its very easy to say den do. duh. actions speak louder den words. distractions come easily. and i get carried away.

life's a bitch!

='(

last night was bad. after i blogged awhile den i lied on my bed. turned on e radio and switched off e lights. set my alarm and decided to send gudnyte msges to a few pple. all of a sudden i felt reli reli tired. i mean. i dunno how else i wud describe it but ya. i felt reli exhausted.

i tried to go to sleep but i ended up reminding myself dat i only had 5 weeks or so left. and i haven studied much. i started to cry and i couldnt stop it. den i tot abt more things. like i wudden wan to disappoint my parents. i can imagine e expressions on their faces wen i show dem my results. e disappointed looks.

and ROD is coming. like i gotta let go of all e things which ive been holding on to for 3 and half yrs.. as in ncc. me and my dearest pltmates. dey are e closest grp of frens i haf in cedar. and we are all bonded thru ncc. i wudden trade any of dem for anything in dis world. and all of a sudden, e tots of me having to leave cedar witout dem is reli hurtful. it hurts me so much dat i haf to let go of all dese things.

its juz dat its so fast. actually its too fast. i can still rmb e first day wen i walked into e foyer. and all.. anyway, we are left wit pathetic 3 mths in cedar.. can u believe dat.. 3 mths.. if 3 yrs can go by juz like dat. u cant imagine how fast 3 mths can be.

before u noe it, it'll all be over. things will be different. im so scared. scared i might not survive well witout all dese.

i tot abt all dese. cried more. i dun rmb wad time i stopped. ya. i cried myself to sleep. woke up wit swollen eyes.

hiazz.. i feel so stressed out.

tiredddd..

hiazz.. dunno why nowadays i feel so tired. i dun think i've not had enuf rest. i sleep normally every night. abt at least 5hrs of sleep. nad i feel fatigue. kinda very exhausted. had to drag myself out of bed every morning. im very sure e 'tiredness' only started dis week.

i tried to do tys. and i fell asleep on my books. and i wasnt even on my bed. my god. i put my head on e table. and i fell asleep.

and here i am. i juz woke up. its 11. came online to see hu are arnd.

i feel so pathetic. after skool study sessions haf not been reli dat productive. i feel so bad. prelims are getting nearer each day. fyi, dere's only abt 5 weeks left. -wk 4 to wk 8- can u believe dat? 5 weeks! only! im so dead. =(

Guys are like stars - so many to pick from
but only one can make all your dreams come true!

- Lindy Strahan -

lalala~ in comp lab now. was doin emaths. ya. came up to print smth for my bro. so decided to change templte awhile. and mebbe post smth up here. so ya. e quote. nice eh? and very true. and sweet. =)

gtg! tataa!

booo

so yeahh. juz came back frm skool. went down to hq wit e part as. dey are very lucky to learn technical handling and wit demonstrations using real rifles. wen we were part as, we had boring theory lessons in classrooms, and had to draw parts of e rifle and imagine how dey wud look like in real life. pathetic man. haiz~ times have changed.

oh wells. ryy is reli cute. mebbe in sec 2 he looked abit kuku. but yeah. he's damn cute actually. haha!

every pe lesson is a torture. mr toh made me do arm power trainings and stuff. actually its ok. i juz hate e incilned sit ups. kinda hurts my back even more. sucker.

tired la. my eng essay still halfway done. my ribcage hurts. on both sides.

oUch!

my back hurts.. juz came back frm ncc day rehearsal.. dere's dis sharp pain arnd e area at my lower back..pain...

im kinda tired. nytes.

great day! great day!

eheh! went to skool early² to study.. dere were fad, shuxian, her frens, simaa, peigin and mich tang..

den wy came. had phy remedial till 3. kinda cool. qt fun also. mr yau is so funny. =)

den go meet ayub. haha! he's supposed to come to skool den take bus from macpherson. so ya he din. cuz he had some knee injury. so i walked to pp. haha. and take bus to far east. makan at puncak. e honey dew chicken noodle was not bad! den we walked aimlessly to everywhere. haha. and i bumped into mei feng! haha! den i stupidly suggested we take bus back to bedok. 401. my god! endless. it passed by e whole stretch of east coast park.

and i walked home. bumped into kak liyana. and haikel! eheh.. fishy fishy.. =)

tmr got ncc day rehearsal. haven prepare uni yet. tmr i wake up early to starch and polish boots la. ya. ok. nytes all. im tired. walked too much. =)

lalala

bleahsss...

bored here.. gonna do phy later. wy and i decided to share e torture of completing series 6. i voluntered to do 1st half nad she e 2nd half. den we copy. wahaha!

still in skool uni. my sis threw dot in e bathroom to make him shit. den she bathed. so ya. i came online. and still online after qt sometime now.

hiazz. feelin kinda stressed out. starting to work a lil harder now. i noe a little is not enuf. but ya. im workin on it yeah. gimme some encouragements can. haizz.

neway, mebbe tmr after phy remedial i gg out awhile. buy a car or smth. im looking for my cardillac escallade! yeah!

nytes!

yikes!

okehs. so mr yau scolded us cuz of practical reports again. seriously, we are dat stubborn. dun listen to him. forget watever he said and stuff. haiz. mebbe its only a small grp. and i belong to dat grp. im such a bad gal. and i haven done his work seriously. im bad. =(

neways, stayed back in skool to do geog. yeah! i did it. on my own. actually wit some help frm fad. and during malay, hafie made me bleed. like i felt so weak cuz i lost alot of blood. ^{yeah ryt..}

i haf to study hist. seriously, i dun haf any liking for dat subject. not even e littlest bit. i only took it cuz ive been coerced into it. i mean, it comes wit pure geog and e onl other combi wit pure geog in it was wit elective lit. erm. lit! no way. my languages sux. come to think of it. my humanities sux. maths sux. sciences. wanna guess? ya. dey suck too.

i gotta reli wake up man. i juz dun haf e energy to.

_{things to do after dis..
1- el essay on 'challenges dat bring out e best in young people'..
2- amaths hw
3- study hist}

ok lah! gtg ready..

hungry + tired + flu-ish + sleepy = a totally bad combination.

haizz. ya. kinda hungry. and runny nose. firstly, i tot dat dere wud be food at home. no. secondly, i tot my mum wud bring food home. no. thirdly, my bro went out for dinner and i expected him to buy food home. so, did he? no. fourthly, mum called dad to bring home food. he said he's away and wun be coming back till morning. so, still got food? no. a bloody effing no. ok. not dat im starving or dat im gonna die any sooner -actually i am-, i haven reli eaten. e last thing was pathetic sandwiches which i threw away e sides. ya. quite ok tho. i dunno why i sound so pissed. i kinda screamed at my bro to ask him to switch off e fan cuz he was not using it anymore. and mum woke up to ask wat happened. and i juz stormed off to my seat. and mumbled 'nothing la.....' so rude. feel so bad. newae, she was groggy. so i hope she din realise i was reli having some kind attitude problem.

plus! its not good to be hungry and having a running nose. my dearest pltmates noe dat 'a hungry me is an angry me'. ya. geddit? im not reli angry. juz feel irritated. effing irritated. totally.

talking abt attitude problem. some pple juz happen to hate other pple with no rhyme or reason. for example, dat sec 3 woman who claims dat all sec 4 'think they're so kewl want to act minah and all this but seriously, they all kental like fuck.' ya. its like H A H A ! like hello? u can only find most of e minah from e sec 3s. other den one or two who are sec 4s.

neway, i juz finished my ss essay. kinda long-winded. but den again, i dun haf e skills to create a perfect piece of an essay. especially for ss or hist(e). talking abt hist(e), i told fad dat choosing e subject at e end of sec 2 was already considered a death sentence for me. haizz. bad bad move.

now im being long-winded. den again, hu cares. u can stop reading now if u haf yawned like for e 15678909213456761409184891741261576781908th time since u started reading dis.

so ya. i feel like continuing. dot is happily sleeping on my pencil case. good pillow eh? with many useless, broken, ink-less, cheepo pens and pencils.

i feel nauseaous. shall read up on geog notes now. population. altho tmr is an open book test. i feel it wud be better if im a little prepared. yeah. so ya! bye!

_{stomach: -grumbles-grumbles-grumbles-}

skydive!

hey ya'all...

guess wad? felt kinda patriotic and decided to browse thru www.ndp.org! eheh.. cool webby tho.. and dere's lots of carnival before and after nat day. one of which is e fireworks carnival. on e 1st, 8th and 15th august! damn cool. i make sure i go for one of dese.

den there's dis part at www.jumponsingapore.com! dis site abt another carnival. where skydivers perform. on e 20th-22nd august! and got dis part..

Tandem Registration

Be among the first in Singapore to participate in the ride of your lifetime..well next to a space shuttle flight to mars really.

Tandem jumpers require no registration fee or equipment. Please note that only those 16 years and above can jump.

cool ryt!?!?!?!!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?! i wannnnnnnnnn...........

but...

All tandem jump slots have been taken up and registration for Tandem Jumps is now closed due to overwhelming response! Thank you for your interest and support!

haizz.. so sad.

mad cat.

and guess wad. he's now sleepin on my bed. beside e laptop. wait. not sleeping. he's wagging he's tail to e music. erm. perfect ten songs. =)

i love dot.

?

came back from religious class. only wit rai. sharifah overslept. haha! so yeah. using my sis' laptop. and my crazy cat is trying to pull of e charger from e laptop. he's like bitting it real hard. and e comp's shaking. haha! jhfyewjnfsdf87ayhasnfj.

haf a nice day!

gg swim later!

=)

yeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

so syfoc was fun! eheh.. not reli.. i came late. din get to watch fad command. but i heard her frm outside!

after dat was super duper fun!

nytes ya all!

juz came back from skool. had chem prac. was not too bad. ya. den stayed till two and did maths. went home.

syfoc today. later. dunno if im gg. dun feel like. for a couple of reasons. ya.

to go?:
1. watch fad
2. bored at home
3. lonely

or ^not to go?:
1. look after bro
2. study
3. -
4. -
5. undone holiday assignments
6. not in e mood to go out

so... shud i or shud i not? if i dun go, i'll surely study for next week's chem test. ya.

almoz got killed juz now. on my way home, walked behind dis mat who was e goalkeeper and playing soccer wit his mat frens. for a moment i din noe wad happened. he did catch e bloody ball and it flew past my face, abt 10cm away. i froze dere like for a few seconds. fortunately i wasnt hit by it. i wud haf a broken jaw or cheekbone or skull or nose or scratched my face and bleed to death, if e ball had hit me. sucker. phEw!

hmm.

haiz. its like abt eleven now. to wait or not to wait.

anyway, i cant sleep. my back hurts.

=(

=)

woohoo! i finally managed to change my layout. it was juz black and white previously. so i added some crimson and other shades of red. ya. e old layout was not very me. suicidal stuffos all over. haha.

anyway, had a haircut juz now. went all e way to amk to cut. ten bucks. its all worth it. went wit fad lp wy and az. fad's hair is cool! eheh. az said its outrageous. haha. lp got short fringe. so girly la. mine's so thin. den wen its tied, it'll look like gy's ponytail. erm, no comments. =)

feeling kinda feverish. tmr got chem prac. haizz.