jFKLEAQFUO

i get wad was said.

but sometimes, things juz dun go as how you planned it to be. at a pt of time, u feel lyk doing something. and den after a while u dun anymore. and den wen dere's an opportunity to do smth else, u think dat its wud be more convenient to u. is it wrong to change ur mind last minute.

i dun rmb if anything was planned. it was plain total unconfirmed details.

being the fickle-minded person dat i am, i think i screwed up smth very precious to me.

tell me im a sickening bitch.
tell me im being ungrateful.
tell me you hate me.
tell me im a fool.
tell me i've changed.
tell me i dun need to bother any longer.
tell me u're sick of me.
tell me im a sucker.

lemme tell u dat im reli sorry.

=(

oh god.

=(


haizz.

im feeling ...

its not abt anybody.
its abt me.

sauodweuoc

heh. 2005 is coming in juz 5 days. gosh. dis year passed by reli quickly.

things/pple i'll always rmbr:
weird arrangements of classrooms on e ferst day of skool.
new (old) teachers : ms chng, mrs chew, mdm lum, mr yau, mrs ong, cikgu
old (young) teachers: ms tan, ms ng
irritating teachers
pretty teachers
sisters in skool: delta 04, 4p, malaymates
part a specs
juniors
valentine's day: cookies and more pretty things =D
covered walkway from classroom blk to canteen
sec4 level male staff toilet : cutting fad's hair
spiral staircase : destroying e art pieces -ooppss-
head prefect election
canteen
western delight: free food, wedges, pizza
malay stall : indian seller
indian stall : malay seller, cheap rice
fruit stall: lime juice, watermelon
auntie barbara -hahah! MIGGIE mee and horlock-
drinks stall: soya bean, justea
piano
cafe: small round tables
tvs in canteen
kepo-ing in art room to see pple do their stuff
theaterette
sports hall: aikido [sensei: keep yaa ball-lance]
sports day: took part in javelin [haha.. big joke!!!]
the everlasting i-wan-to-vomit-blood feeling wen walking towards the old cedar track
sports day: bougainvilla
rai's bdae 'party' outside the gallery
1st level empty corridor : morning pts
courtyard: pts, morning assemblys
national day: GOH, no1 uni, sobs, POP, cheers
aesthetic studios: ROD
unusually quiet ROD dinner at pizza hut
unit camp: f&b 1st i/c, a few gallons of milo, bt timah, campfire, good food from auntie lina
midyear exams
prelims
o levels
affirmation ceremony: boring
ncc day parade: boring
tenzing: yq,wq,pz,jy
shappa-brad
shappa-shahrul
fad-fard
amk lib
amk mac
buses 66,65,8,228,25,135,225
far east
cahaya
sakura
choize
shell
butterfly ave
macpherson pple
bird flu
hyperinflation [bloody expensive eggs]
parades and pts, hot milo on saturday mornings
reaching skool late to haf mac breakfasts wit emi
shopping wit fad during prelims
heartaches, heartbreaks
fun, joy, peace and happiness
sci experiments
test tubes, bunsen burners, potassium permanganate, unknown salts, titration
torch lights, pendulums, stop watches, phy reports
last day of skool
hugs and tears, cheers and fears
prom
the usuals and frens: sher, hafie, fil, pk, zar, ili, fiz, diyanah, sharini, kerr
esplanade

i'll add more next time.. mebbe pooling later. wit gy?

jkafew

been sick dese few days. im ok already now. only bad bad cough.

i hate to wait for late-comers. i hate to wait for things to happen. and i feel reli bad wen i'm not punctual. i realised im not very patient. especially nowadays. 3 and half hrs is damn long.

tmr's xmas eve. well, so? i owe some pple presents cuz dey celebrate xmas and i'm getting stuff from dem.

which reminds me dat im reli broke. my mum gave me 50 bucks e other time. half of it was used up for e bbq. and today im left wit 15 bucks cuz food is very expensive.

i think i got plans tmr. xmas eve. e town will be damn packed wit pple. im serious. experienced it all last xmas eve.

i recall pple counting down -from 10secs- to xmas day at 11.40pm on e eve and cheering loudly. den dey counted down again every five minutes. and e xmas carol pple, walking arnd in their costumes. funny dresses.

okie. gotta sleep now. today was a freaking long day. tmr's gonna be another one. ciao.





i realised dat i can actually get anything dat i wan. except dat sometimes, ...

sick

nyeh. stayed in all day. was not feeling too well. actually haven been feeling well since wed. an on/off fever. headaches. muscle aches. cough. phlegm. hope its not dengue fever. i dun lyk gg to clinics to see doctors. cuz after dat i haf to eat medicine.


panadols and drinking loads of water are good ryt? ryt.



i'll be ok tmr! =D


oh, i forgot to mention e sorethroat.

=)

aight! so e gathering was a GREAT success!!!! yepp.. we had lots of food.. movies.. drinks..

bbq was waaaaaay cooooool.. chicken wings, sausages and potatoes.. tho sometimes smoke was produced so much so dat it looked as if smth juz exploded in my balcony.. and pple choked cuz of CO₂ overload.. and teared cuz of e smoke..

puteri gunung ledang was interesting. [so, hang tuah was actually in love wit puteri gunung ledang??]

we ate bee hoon, french fries, onion rings, fishball wantons, chicken wings, sausages, potatoes, chocolates, cookies, cocktail, nata de coco, sparkling juice, bdae cake, coke, pepsi, sprite ice... gawd! can i juz die.. we ate lyk nv before.. hahah!

we sang bdae song twice.. ok.. 2 sets.. lyk in eng, chi, malay and lalala.. for gy and emi.. hence we sang bdae song 8 times.. hmmm... =D

fad's wantons were delicious.. creative sey!
lp's cookies were 'famous amos-ish'... =9
[emi, gy, zx, et]'s drinks were refreshing..
rai's tidbits were yummy..


many accidents.. plates overturned, beehoon all over e floor, sprite ice splashed under e table, cincau on e table cloth, charcoal on e floor, ashes on e faces/food/clothes/floor.. haha! bimbos partying.. waddya expect...

ok.. im so tired.. tmr's sunday.. hafie juz msged.. asked if wanna go out..

to DOT, my cat: thank you, for allowing my darlings make u wear e santa hat. and acting lyk u loved it alot. and thank you for not being as violent as u usually are to other strangers. thank you for not running arnd e hse.. and oh yah.. thanx for being a lil more frenly today. u actually allowed lp and rai pat u!!! =D lastly, pls DO NOT let me find u sitting on e window ledge anymore, looking lyk u were ready to jump down..
ps: its e 12th floor..
pps: im not sure how many lives u haf left..
ppps: I LOVE YOU!

thank you everybody for coming!! today was totally AWESOME! and my younger bro for running errands for us.. HA HA!




=D

bbq!

alright! hope tmr will be goooood daaaaaay!
everything's almost prepared..
i got e bbq pit fixed..
e buffet trays are set up..
disposable utensils and plates and cups are available..

i only need chicken and noodles..
and more food from e rest!


ok.. ciao.. cant wait for tmr...
im actually having a mini bbq in my hse balcony!
hope my hse wun get burnt down.. hahha! ok..
again.. i cant wait!!!

hadirnya cinta

kau permata
kaulah intan
di sanubariku
kau pujaanku
kau idamanku
sinar rembulan
menerangi jiwa
oh asmaraku
kau yang ku rindu
hangatnya cintamu

tiada yang lain
kaulah satunya
antara beribu
cintamu sehangat
sinar mentari
membakar jiwaku

hadirnya cintamu
membawa bahagia
dalam hidupku
bagaikan bulan
dipagari bintang
di malam syahdu

hadirnya cinta by gerhana skacinta.

alpha bits!

alpha bits rox! u noe. e cereal. but dey do not haf some letters of e alphabets.. lyk S, H, I, G, C.. and some letters only come in marshmallow form.. lyk N and M... but dey haf lots of A, B, D, Q, Y, O... haiz.. im so sad.. dey dun haf Ss... and Hs.. and Ms in biscuit form.. den i cant form my name..

ok. why am i doin dis. its juz shows dat i haf nthg better to do. u're right. i DO not haf anything better to do.

dgaw7euiyrcjmkdkaduieywrnmcaiksjdfui??
ajdhewuiyfnjkfds?
dasjhuowe!!
ksandhweu?
djhauehd....
dakjd!
djsdd!
skdfjoe!
nyeh!
=D

sr!

o....k....

im posted to SRJC... SCIENCE course.. hahhahahah! and im happy.. ok.. quite larh.. and so far... emi, gy, sher, mer and hafie are coming along wit me! hoohooohooohaaahaaaa! =P


all the best to those taking their N level results today!! =D namely, zar! diana! gud luck!





you! yes you! i also wanna go holidayyyyyyy!!!!! hmphss!

dasaddsafdgherajkg

booo! still feeling abit weak.. my whole body aches.. ahhh...

went to hafie's hse.. haha.. den straightened her hair... hee!

den to zar's hse.. wad a nice home.. i wish mine was lyk dat..

and to e airport to fetch ili.. boy, he looked ok.. haha! abit darker lar..

den we ate at e canteen.. and i bought e wrong food again!! boo.. e mee kuah was so diluted.. and it was sweet.. wth.. but e crispy crispy thing was nice.. i had my soya bean.. heeee! =)

okie, delta'o4! im planning a gathering dis weekend..
day: saturday, 181204
time: noon?
place: my hse!
attire: casual
bring: vcds, dvds, tidbits

oh! we can haf potluck! [cuz i dunno if my mum is at home to cook some stuff for us..] and some vegetarian food also.. [gy is coming]
so those hu wanna come.. pls msg me.. asap.. thanx!

for now, e pple hu are confirmed to be present are..
1. me!
2. emi

well.. ya.. hope e list gets longer..

jkdsa

and somebody was nice enuf to make me a cup of warm ovaltine! hahaha... my bro..

nuck u!

okie..



I'M GOING NUCKING FUTS!




feel so sick...

=|

NEWSFLASH: im totally broke!

but.. i got e good progress award.. hahah! from cdc.. kinda surprising.. ok.. $150..

been doin nothing.. rent vcds, and slack at home.. kinda miss everyone.. heh.. i wanna go out..

and oh.. i think im falling sick soon.. running nose.. my throat feels funny.. and wen i walk i feel as tho im floating.. serious..

juz now wen i was walking towards my block.. i kept looking arnd.. cuz it felt lyk i was in a totally different neighbourhood.. scary.. and e feeling of floating arnd also..

okie.. i wanna sleep.. dunno abt e plans for tmr.. ili's coming back! lyk so fast hor! =)

nytess...

ps: i noe u pple are talking abt e girl's boobs.. but ya.. hahah! i think she is sexy lei.. lyk she looks ryt into ur eyes.. eeee! =)

dsa

ok.. juz changed my layout.. as u can see.. i think e lady is sexy.. look into her eyes.. come on... hahha! okie.. talking to fad now.. hahah! i miiisssss herrrrrr....!

sad

i was scanning my comp's system for errors...


Severe System Threats Detected: 6811


and e severity of all errors are critical.













i wanna go msn................................

das

bored. no shows on tv. everybody also busy. so ya.

its e first tym i actually wanted to follow my mum to a malay wedding lunch. reasons are:
1. its been ages since i went to one.
2. i miss good food.
3. i was bored.
4. its at my void deck.

yeah. my neighbour got married. and oh. dere were black pepper prawns. u noe. those big fat prawns! too bad i took only 2. btw, i was too lazy to peel e first one wit fork and spoon dat i juz ate it whole. wit e shell. it was stuck to e flesh anyway. it wud make my prawn look spastic if i peel it. of cuz i din swallow down e head and tail. i had to use my fingers for e other prawn. wait. i cud haf asked my mum to help me peel. since she was using her hand to eat. -__-''

came back home. watched THE UNBORN. fell asleep in e middle part. it was too long. my bro said it was nice tho.

im seriously sErIoUsLy SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY! broke.

rented some movies. 2 bucks each. is dat cheap? come over and watch dem wit me! =)

huj

i am such a bitch.










i suck.

=|

asd

okie.. dis is funny.. stole it from weiqi's blog..

http://www.geocities.com/xia_xue_snow/FHMmain.html

ive been gg out for e past week.. reach home at 11-12pm... den leave home at 9-10am.. also dun rmb do wad.. mostly pool-ing.. and walk walk.. haizz.. my life is so.. u dunno wad.. kinda miss my family.. and some frens.. oh! talked to fad juz now.. hahha.. miss her.. =D and oh! ili's in aussie.. miss him.. =D

i bought THE INCREDIBLES tshirt!!! hahahhahahahahha!!! zar tot it was chubby... huh? hahahha! o...k... my tshirt is chubby. wait! wait! tshirt chubby or me chubby!? hahahahhahaha.... muz be me.. booo...

i wanna go holiday.. prolly gg kl wit my bro next weekend.. and he said i haf to pay for his transportation and accomodation.. wroight.. haha!

and im getting more kental by e day.. haizz.. dats us.. kentalans.. ahhahahah! i'm hearing laughters.. yes yes.. laugh.. heh!

i wan a gathering soon! any kind of gathering.. wit any grp of pple.. pls? =D

okie. i feel lyk napping now.. woke up at 7.30am today.. to.. erms.. ok.. nytes!!!

sentosaaaa

booooooo!

juz came back frm sentosa.. ohh! juz how tired am i... very! nyeh. but iwas super duper fun nonetheless! woohooo! dere were sher, hafie, pk, fil, sharini, zar, hafiz, ili and i... wen we reached dere, somebody wanna act smart and 'explore sentosa'... wow~! we ended up taking e bus to palawan beach.. den e -true blue- girls applied suntanning oil.. and e -not so true blue- guys applied sunblock lotion.. haha!

den we swam, played at e slide, burried each other in e sand, make weird sculptures and ugly sand castles, ate junk food, bought/stole super big gulp! -errkss- and e best part was throwing/pushing/swinging/pulling/squeezing each other off e platform in e middle of e lagoon.. and i got thrown/pushed/swung/pulled/squeezed off e platform thrice consecutively.. excluding other solo throwing/pushing.. [u get e idea ryt].. e guys were too strong dat despite dem being outnumbered, we were -eherm- defeated. nyeh! i was silly enuf to sit in a corner [it was e most vulnerable spot].. and yes.. was pushed off e platform.. sneak attacking ili was useless.. cuz in e end i got pushed down.. being e last girl standing on e platform was no better either.. cuz i got swung by ili and zar off e platform.. oh.. great.. it was funny wen hafie volunteeringly jumped off e platform.. haha! so cute! and dere was a mini mud fight.. [hafie: eeee! bird shit!]

we cleaned up and made our way to bugis for breakfast/lunch/dinner.. heehee! nice food.. den went to esp awhile.. bought ice cream. it was kinda drizzling.. so we sat at e empty space area.. and i think dere was some modelling shit dere.. wannabes catwalking up and down in heels and useless shawls.. funny breakdancers all around. we played 'goldfish'.. i won twice in a row.. followed by sher! hahaha.. muz play more okieeeee!

din wanna go home.. cuz den i'll be damn bored.. but we cudden decide on a place to slack either.. so we went home.. so dere.. my beautifully-spent day wit the usuals.. haha! =)







im feeling happpppieeeeeeee! =PpP

dasd

i feel so lonely......





































bleargh.

nyeh

Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I looked in her eyes, now she's all i see
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees please help me

First time I saw you girl,
You turn me upside down
I can't stop thinking bout you
My head is spinning round
I got to find away to get with you somehow
Girl I'm so crazy for you
You know I want you now
And everyminute of every single day
I'm dreaming of how it could be
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me


Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I looked in her eyes, now she's all i see
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees please help me

Cant fall alseep tonight I don't know what to do
I hold my pillow but I wanna be holding you
And when close my eyes I always see your face
I know my happiness is only kiss away
And every hour here in the dark
Every beat of my lonely heart
Tells me that I need to be with you
Heaven oh heaven what can I do

Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help
I looked inher eyes, now she's all i see
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees please help me

Girl I'd give anything if you were here with me
Give anything you want and anything you need
I never thought that I could feel the way I do
But now I wanna spend the rest of my life with you
And every day that we are apart
I'm shedding this love here in my heart
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

Heaven, heaven oh heaven cant you help me
I looked in her eyes now shes all I see
Heaven oh heaven cant you help me
I'm down on my knees please, heaven

Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you hear me
I'm giving my love for eternity
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees please help me









boooo! i love di song..





i feel so lonely.. hiazz..















.

jhd

hmmm.. went out wit hafie and co. and rai.. heeheE! me sher and rai had so much fun at kfc.. comparing our weird fingers. and laffing very loudly. hmmms... den walked arnd taka.. cuz rai wanted to look for shoes.. i felt lyk smacking dat guy at pretty fit. lyk he's so good arh.. rai wanted to noe if any other outlets haf her size for dat shoe.. and he went 'i doubt so..' wtf! u very good lei.. got good powers.. lyk he din even bother to find out.. den anyhow say.. stupid idiot!

after rai left, we went to play pool at cine.. despite e fact dat i nv played at all before dis.. i got to hit a few balls and make dem roll into e hole? hahaha! wad crap.. i dunno e correct terms larh k.. laff laff...

den we bought roadside ice cream.. cuz gelare and swensens were too expensive.. and we were not supposed to spend alot.. so we had $1 ice creams.. which tasted juz as nice.. haha.. ok.. not reli.. e sticky chewy choc wud taste even better! hmmphss!

den walked back t0 far east cuz fil wanted her fishnet stockings.. den we bought old chang kee.. heehee! nice squids! =D den walked down to e mrt stn and went home.. hmmm..

dropped by watsons to buy tweezers and emery boards.. heehee! vain xiaa... =Pp

jahsd

You are a Siamese! You are fun-loving, playful,
energetic, talkative, and exotic. You are the
center of attention and you love every minute
of it.

What breed of cat are you?
brought to you by No comments:

jhdaoiuyd

im juz sitting here, going wit the flow...






or rather,

going wit THE flow..


lyk so dots... ok..

jhdfjah

oohhhhhh!

woke up to weiqi's gudmorn! x8 msg.. haha! madman!

and oh.. tried to sleep longer.. but cudden..

so i came online.. and tried to unlock my old diary.. haha! cant believe i still rmb e userid and password.. woohoo.. its still dere ok.. i read thru it.. and realise i talked less abt things.. well.. haha..

1. i talked more occasionally abt someone..
2. reading abt pltmates and obs mades me happy!
3. i realised, too, dat rai has been wanting her atm since ages ago.. haha!
4. emi was sad dat b***d** nv talk to her.. hahah!
5. how i loved to put up lyrics.. and i still do..
6. abt how fad is supposed to get over him.. haha... look at dem now.. *awwww*






and oh! i finished my movie.. heehee! 'da kentalanz'... im cursed to stay kental..

~

nyeh.. yesterday was boring.. went out in evening wit macpherson peepz, minus fad.. and aei, went back to haagen daz to give my pic and e photocopied ic.. den we bought food and went to yp to meet hafie and co. at a gig. ok. erms. pple dere dun look enthusiastic dat dere were actually at a gig. haha!

den we separated. and walked arnd to buy more food. ok not more. i shared a carrot cake wit emi. and we bought a big gulp dat noone wanted to carry. becuz it was heavy, cold and ugly. and we sat arnd doin nothing. walked arnd wisma. den after awhile went home. haha.

at home i was making a movie.. halfway thru. and my comp hang-ed.. walao.. so pissed dat i immediately went to sleep on e cold cold floor..


fad go open hse nv invite me! hmphs! hahaha... ooooooo.... =D














btw, i'll be free today.. anybody wanna ask me out???? hahahah! -shameless-

..prom

omg! prom was waaaaaaaay cooooooool. to think dat i had no mood to go a few days b4 dat.. haha.. wells, some singer -cai li lian??- came to sing chinese song and a christmas song.. hello? its not even december yet.. i guess she's so enthu abt e festival. oh, she sang chen han wei's guan huai fang shi.. qt nice larh.. i love dat song..heezz!

and aeii, she talked alot of crap..

oh! ms leong looked kinda nice -ehem!- in black.. and some glittery stuffos arnd e neck.. all i noe is she looked weird during last yr's prom.. hahahha!

food was goooooooooood. tho i din reli eat alot.. i heard berlin wall took plates after plates of food.. so dat wun rugi.. haha! smart asses... and yes... dey ate up everything.. hahaha..! orhh.. shu yu's bdae yesterday too.. HAPPY BURFDAY GURL!

lame games were played.. walao.. cant dey think of better things? hiazz.. ok larh.. actually not dat bad.. cuz berlin wall won e first game! hehe... 4P's coooool...

and e hall was turned into a discotheque.. hahah! it was as if we went clubbing.. cool songs.. cool moooves... heehehe.. and we danced alll night loooong.. ok.. exaggerating... for abt an hour or so larh..

and i left wit e rest to town.. wanted to follow e plt.. but dey gg az's hse to sleep.. so i followed hafie and pk to esp.. walked arnd.. and it rained after a while at e bay.. after which we had problems gg home.. i tell u arh.. transportation in sp shud be improved further.. haizz.. more cabs! and cheaper fares after midnight pls.. thanx!

so i ended up staying over at pk's place.. ahhaha! cool.. she's so funny.. wit her i-ate-tarts-at-3am-nv-drink-water-wake-up-very-early voice... haha! sexxxy! no wonder i found e 'SEX BOMB' plush toy on e bed.. haha...

and i woke up at 8.. i heard her breathing so loudly.. turned off e aircon cuz i was freezing already. and stayed half awake till 10.. and decided to leave..

on bus 25, i passed by srjc.. it took exactly 30 mins from dere to bdk int.. so yeahh...

and yes! i did my pae registration.. stupid me shud haf studied harder.. wit 15 pts, i had trouble choosing my futute skool..

well, here are e choices.. ehhe.. weird tho..
1. sr sci
2. sr arts
3. cj sci
4. cj arts
5. mj arts
6. tp sci
7. tp arts
8. ny arts

hiazz.. hope sr's good.. at least good for first 3 months.. =)
































boooo! =(

..

brand new day [by Gerhana Skacinta]
dis band rocks. =)

You don`t know
How much I love you
A brand new day
And I shall kiss you
And please tell me baby
That you love me too
Cause your smile make me crazy
I don`t know what to do

All I need is a love
That can last for long
So put your little arms around me baby
And just say I love you

I`ll never disappoint you
I`ll never break your heart in two
I can`t never ever sleep
If you`re feeling sad
I`ll never make you cry



awwww.. wad a sweet song. its a raggae btw.












and yey. im feelin much better. thanx fad darl! =)
and ya.. e L-word confuses me and makes me a complicated person.

=(

i'm afraid i'll drown in my own tears.












hah! dyed hair. dis tym it was 'flashy beige brown'. looks better.

..

spent a good morning and afternoon all by myself at pasir ris park. =) reading a book and chewing gummies. listening to e sounds of nature. i lyk.




I waited 'til I saw the sun
I don't know why I didn't come
I left you by the house of fun
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Out across the endless sea
I would die in ecstacy
But I'll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road alone

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Something has to make you run
I don't know why I didn't come
I feel as empty as a drum
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come




haizz.

...

=|


"Never look back," we said

How was I to know I'd miss you so?

Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind

Where do I go?

And you didn't hear

All my joy through my tears

All my hopes through my fears

Did you know, I still miss you somehow

...

wad a great disappointment.





























u,
doing dat thing u do,
breaking my heart into a million pieces,
lyk u always do...


thanks for making me feel excited for a moment.










from e bottom of my broken heart,
i thank u.

..

hiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

herks! today's not so bad afterall! heeheee!

after e paper.. we -me, sher and hafie- went out and walked arnd town.. watched e incredibles.. heeex! it was so adorable.. worth it larhh! muz go watchhhh! =P

den walked down to far east.. and met up wit filzah and co.. hiakz..! den we walked arnd peninsular and stuff.. ate at sakura.. e crispy noodle was ok.. yar..

made our way to esplanade.. and sat at e roof terrace.. haha.. and made a fool out of ourselves.. basically juz hang arnd dere and crapped.. truth or dare.. well.. i was dared to tell a stranger he was handsome.. interesting! he din haf any reaction.. boring! stupid guy.. wait.. haf u ever tried sliding down e steep slopes beneath e highway near e esp??? hahah! it was superrrr fuuunnnnn! haha.. CHEEP THRILL! oh come on.. we were juz havin fun.. eheh!

and i bot e RED fox bag... hafie and sher bot e red one too!! hahah.. den now alot of pple got e fox bag! heeee! so fuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnn!

okies.. gotta rest my feet.. tmr whole day jalan raya! so ya..

ciaoooooo!






ever felt e feeling of total FREEDOM???????
ahhhhh... its euphoric.. huuuurrrr.....

















LOVE IS IN E AIR..........
LOVE IS ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL AROUNDDDDDDDDDDD! =pPp

..

-angry-

haiz.. now i noe wad to talk abt!

DOT!

i think we gotta get rid of him soon.. a series of events happened...

1. he peed on my study table.
2. my sis' books absorbed e pee.
3. my telekung and sejadah also.
4. my skool uniform. -!!!!-
5. e pee kinda spilled down my table onto e side cupboard.
6. my billa wallet also kena. -!!!-
7. he shit on my mum's bed -!!!-

my god..
i think he nyanyok already... so pissed man..

boo!

bored bored bored.. supposed to be studying.. ya.. am i getting weird stares from u pple hu haf completed ur olevels..???? kanasai.. y tmr!!!!! ok.. its supposed to be a question.. ok.. y tmr?????????

and erms... cant wait for tues, wed, thurs..!!!

tues: go out jalan rayer wit darling pltmates..
wed: go out wit darling fren..
thurs: go out wit darling frens...

wahahhahahaha.. wad a wonderful world... =)

















someday wen im awfully low
wen e world is cold
i will feel a glow
juz thinkin of u
and e way u look tonight
u're lovely
wit ur smile so warm
and ur cheek so soft
dere is nthg for me
but to love u
and e way u look tonight
wit each word
ur tenderness grows
tearing my fears apart
and dat laff
dat wrinkles ur nose
it touches my foolish heart
lovely never ever change
keep dat breathless charm
wun u pls arrange it
cuz i love u
juz e way u look tonight

ouch..

my feet are begging.. begging me to stop wearing shoes dat make dem hurt and form blisters...


went shopping for 3 days in a row..


tsk tsk..

=)

erms...

lyf's good nowadays.. =P
frens.. shopping..money.. clothes.. shoes... and family..

fun fun fun.. cept dat shopping makes me real tired.. dots.. but window-shopping is more tiring.. cuz u dun get to buy anything.. cuz u're broke.. cuz u spent so much e previous time u went shopping.. =S

and ey.. one more paper next mon.. exciting eh?

blisters!!

okie.. yesterday was -hollers- FUN! went shopping wit sher at far east.. and erm, i cudden reli shop.. cuz i had a beeeeeg prob.. took e wrong atm.. hence no money to spend.. other den e few bucks in my purse.. and aei, darling sher paid for me e beautiful earings first.. =)

bumped into hafi and co and took off to geylang to buker.. we sat at e stairs of e overhead bridge to eat ramly burgers, dendengs and tako pachis... hahha..

next stop was esp to celebrate filzah's bdae.. u can nv imagine e pain i was gg thru last night.. walking all arnd far east, all arnd geylang, and from city hall to esp... and back home.. goddddd! it was excrutiating! e stupid jelly shoes gave me multiple blisters.. those which contain liquid.. i dun dare burst dem.. and my left foot.. a small part near my small toe.. abit swollen.. wth! btw, e cake was yummeh! fantabulous i say! =)

fantabulous!


aeii! good day.. good day..

had geog in e mornin.. it was OK..nyeahh..minus one mark cuz of e slip-off slope and river cliff confusion thang.. shit.. and eh.. kinda slept after dat.. and woke up to talk crap with fad.. lyk reli crap..

den went out to break fast wit my darls.. cept for az and huda.. hmphss.. sad.. = but newaes, we had fun... =) hehe... far east was so infested wit weird lookin pple.. majority of which are mats and mins.. so yeah.. u get wad i mean.. ha! we ate so much.. lyk dere was wanton and char kway! hahah.. nice nice..! =)

okie.. gtg.. tired..






'dere can be miracle.. wen u believe..' =)



waiting for a miracle to happen.. hahah.. anything.. =Pp

errrr-

chem was lyk ... u noe. lyk ... ya.. very ... not easy not difficult.. difficult to say its easy and difficult to say its difficult. undescribable. wells. it was ...? ha! so no more chem and phy till 22nd nov. and erm. after dat i wun be doin science anymore for e rest of my lyk. now, is dat gooood or baaaad? and erm. some other people still haf phy/chem/bio papers. ha! i've washed my hands off ss, chem, phy, emaths for now.. well..... =D

and darlin bro bought for me ice jelly cocktail on his way home cuz i've been cravin for it for dayss.. lyk i msged him to ask if he buke-ing home.. den he replied 'i juz reached home wit the ice jelly cocktail.. ahaha.. and e next thing i heard was e door being opened.. ahah... =)

and ermm.. gotta study geog nooww...

and had some talking wit a darling.. hope she's fine.. yeah.. i feel so bad thinking of e otherwise abt her.. she's juz caught in a bad bad situation. juz lyk me sometimes.. well.. hugs for ya gf.. =)

im torn. so torn. torn apart. dunno wat's right and wrong.. blearghss.. hate dis..

and erm.. im confused too..




smth to look forward to tmr! buke-ing out wit my other darlings! and yeahh.. wantons! here i come.. ok.. sounds piggisshh.. okie..

gotta study geog now. ciao!



errr.. my cat's crazy.. he has an account in catster..
so if u pple are lyk bored.. pls visit www.catster.com
its juz lyk friendster.. 'cept dat its for cats and deir feline friends.. hehe! cute stuff..

ok.. im supposed to go off now..



















arhh.. i cantt... talkin to wid.. arhh.. heart-to-heart.. =))))))))))))))))))


sweet ivan.. hahah!

lesszy-stresszy!

right! less stress nowadays.. mebbe cuz everything has been goin on rather smoothly.. erm.. reli scared for english papers tho.. malay was abit ok.. but ya.. not too sur either.. amp2 was pretty ok.. emp1 and emp2 are fine.. eh.. phy component was very do-able.. ss.. ok larh.. see.. everything all lyk ok ryt..

ehh.. highlights of e week! HEEHEE! =D

er.. tmr got chem.. abit scared.. and after dat is last paper for e week, geog mcq.. before deepavali and hari raya.. cant waitt!!!! =)i'll be wering green on e first day! yay!

and er.. i wan to shoes/sneakers! thanx wid! she's gonna get dem for me wen she goes for her hols.. thanx arh! =)



and er... yar.. so many things i wanna do after os! =)

an old song.. still it means so much.. to me at least..


Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that's by your side?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I take tender care of you?
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When this world has turned so cold
Will I be the one that's there to hold?

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Yeah
And I love you more every day
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone
I promise I'll be there for you (there for you)
I promise

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

And I promise (and I promise)
I promise (oh I promise you)
I will be there when you call me (when you call me)
I promise (I promise)
I promise I will



'cept dat dere aint anyone who's dere to call me in e middle of e night.. or even anytime of e day..

funny.











not.

btw, i think i care too much. like too much. love(something) too much. worry too much.

i think too much. so much i hurt myself at times. all e time actually.


here's my own version..

will u always be there for me?
when i need someone, will u be that one i need?
will u do all ur best to, to protect me?
when the tears get near my eyes
will u be the one that's by my side?
will u be there when i call u in the middle of the night?
will u keep the rain from falling down into my life?

i need more time. haiz.

Cold and frosty morning there's not a lot to say
About the things caught in my mind
And as the day was dawning my plane flew away
With all the things caught in my mind

I don't wanna be there when you're ...
Coming down
I don't wanna be there when you hit the ground

So dont go away, say what you say
Say that you'll stay
Forever and a day ... In the time of my life
Cos I need more time, yes I need more time just to make things right

Damn my situation and the games I have to play
With all the things caught in my mind
Damn my education I can't find the words to say
With all the things caught in my mind

Me and you whats going on?
All we seem to know is how to show
The feelings that are wrong

dots.

skipped skool today. slept late last night doin geog and cudden wake up dis morning.. was thinkin of coming to skool lyk a period earlier or smth.. but i slept thru e whole mornin.. got to catch up some sleep.. =)

study now..

i miss gwen and peizhi.. =|

oh god. im abt to breakdown again. i juz feel so scared. scared i might not be able to make it. and scared i wud juz disappoint myself again.

i feel i haf noone to turn to.

dis shitty feeling is back again.

i pray nothing bad will happen.

god, i need strength and courage to rid my fear.

hoiyy!

im back. back again.

actually was juz lazy to update.

nothing much. cept dat prelim results was crap.

still wit e flu. =S

and studying for os. *v*

-sniff-sniff-


It's amazing
How you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark
Try as I may
I could never explain
What I hear when
You don't say a thing

The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all

All day long
I can hear people
Talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
(The crowd)
Try as they may
They can never define
What's been said
Between your
Heart and mine



=)

:/

god.. i hate having flu..

i dun feel good. dun like e feeling wen pple dun trust me. or keep things away from me wen i think i shud noe abt it too.. haizz.. i dunno.

hope tmr will be a good day. at least smth to look forward to after so much misery. left wit geog paper1 and sci prac. =)

....

my cupboard looks damn neat now.

polyphobia

some pple will nv noe wad dey are afraid of.. until dey see dis list.. here are some of e things dat i fear..

Achluophobia- Fear of darkness.
Acrophobia- Fear of heights.
Aeronausiphobia- Fear of vomiting secondary to airsickness.
Agliophobia- Fear of pain.
Agrizoophobia- Fear of wild animals.
Agyrophobia- Fear of streets or crossing the street.
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
Anablephobia- Fear of looking up.
Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
Arachnephobia or Arachnophobia- Fear of spiders.
Arithmophobia- Fear of numbers.
Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotten or ignored or forgetting.
Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself.
Basophobia or Basiphobia- Inability to stand. Fear of walking or falling.
Bathophobia- Fear of depth.
Batrachophobia- Fear of amphibians, such as frogs, newts, salamanders, etc.
Bufonophobia- Fear of toads.
Catagelophobia- Fear of being ridiculed.
Cherophobia- Fear of gaiety.
Chronophobia- Fear of time. [its moving too fast..]
Clithrophobia or Cleithrophobia- Fear of being enclosed.
Coimetrophobia- Fear of cemeteries.
Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns. [in kindergarten..?]
Cypridophobia or Cypriphobia or Cyprianophobia or Cyprinophobia - Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease.
Defecaloesiophobia- Fear of painful bowels movements.
Dinophobia- Fear of dizziness or whirlpools.
Dishabiliophobia- Fear of undressing in front of someone.
Dystychiphobia- Fear of accidents.
Eisoptrophobia- Fear of mirrors or of seeing oneself in a mirror.
Ereuthrophobia- Fear of blushing. [et!! do u haf dis phobia? =P]
Glossophobia- Fear of speaking in public or of trying to speak.
Gymnophobia- Fear of nudity.
Hadephobia- Fear of hell.
Harpaxophobia- Fear of being robbed.
Hamartophobia- Fear of sinning.
Helminthophobia- Fear of being infested with worms.
Hemophobia or Hemaphobia or Hematophobia- Fear of blood.
Herpetophobia- Fear of reptiles or creepy, crawly things.
Hylophobia- Fear of forests.
Iatrophobia- Fear of going to the doctor or of doctors. [wen i was younger..]
Ichthyophobia- Fear of fish. [dey are slimy..]
Illyngophobia- Fear of vertigo or feeling dizzy when looking down.
Insectophobia - Fear of insects.
Kakorrhaphiophobia- Fear of failure or defeat.
Lilapsophobia- Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.
Melissophobia- Fear of bees.
Musophobia or Muriphobia- Fear of mice.
Necrophobia- Fear of death or dead things.
Nyctohylophobia- Fear of dark wooded areas or of forests at night.
Odontophobia- Fear of teeth or dental surgery. [i may be gg for another one dis wed..]
Ophidiophobia- Fear of snakes.
Ophthalmophobia- Fear of being stared at.
Ornithophobia- Fear of birds.
Pharmacophobia- Fear of taking medicine.
Phasmophobia- Fear of ghosts.
Philophobia- Fear of falling in love or being in love. [sometimes..]
Rhabdophobia- Fear of being severely punished or beaten by a rod, or of being severely criticized.
Soteriophobia - Fear of dependence on others.
Taurophobia- Fear of bulls.
Theophobia- Fear of gods or religion.
Tomophobia- Fear of surgical operations.
Topophobia- Fear of certain places or situations, such as stage fright.
Trypanophobia- Fear of injections.
Virginitiphobia- Fear of rape.
Xenophobia- Fear of strangers or foreigners.
Zoophobia- Fear of animals. [or some of dem..]













i think dis is cute!
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.


fad prolly has dis..
Lachanophobia- Fear of vegetables.


reminds me of gzee ying..
Lockiophobia/Maieusiophobia/Parturiphobia/Tocophobia- Fear of childbirth.
Menophobia- Fear of menstruation.


e perfectionist.. ahem..
Misophobia or Mysophobia- Fear of being contaminated with dirt or germs.
Rupophobia- Fear of dirt.


dis is funny..
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias.




now dat i've laid out all dis.. im wondering if i haf..
Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything.

blearghh

arghh.. i hate dis feelin. all alone at home. doin my work. alone. listenin to e radio. alone.

i feel so lonely. i feel lyk i've been forgotten. haizz.

watever.

i feel lyk cryin.





^{_110904. a date to remember. a date forgotten.}

dead.

im so not gonna survive ss/hist.

juz came back frm breakfast. e food tasted like grass. -pukes-

haikel is so cute. =)his mummy wanted to buy him dis spiderman shirt. but it was too big. haha!

gonna study later. come join me. anyone?





"was it u hu spoke e words dat things wud happen but not to me?
or things are gonna happen naturally
taking ur advice im lookin on e bright side
and balancin e whole thing
but often times those words get tangled up in lines
and bright lights turn to night
until e dawn it brings
a little bird who'll sing abt e magic dat was u and me..."





word of e day: APARTHEID
meaning: racial segregation, [esp in S.Africa]
1.An official policy of racial segregation formerly practiced in the
Republic of South Africa, involving political, legal, and economic discrimination against nonwhites.
2.A policy or practice of separating or segregating groups.
3.The condition of being separated from others; segregation.

'a social policy or racial segregation involving political and economic and legal discrimination against non-whites; the former official policy in South Africa'

aight.

so yeah. im all alone at home. dun feel like studying. but i noe i haf to. i must. and i will. i think. haizz. dere goes my self-encouragement.

juz found out smth qt shocking. goodness. kinda worried for her/him/it. haha. fad's style of talking abt an anon.

fad's havin fun outside. she abandoned me. =\ haha!

i need those plastic drawers. den i can clear up my cupboard and give away clothes dat i've never worn before or will never wear anymore. and i can buy a mirror from ikea and put it in my cupboard. den i will haf a mini dressing table. haha! and i can arrange my mini cat figurines. =)

okehs. planning on wat i shud do next. juz dun wanna fall asleep. how bout studying? nyahh!
1. phy tys
2. chem papers
3. emaths series
4. amaths series
5. read up geog
6. study peribahasa
7. ss/hist

ok. i noe dat shudden be e kind of attitude to portray regarding ss/hist. but i swear i feel like juz crapping thru'out e whole paper. juz like i haf since forever.

^{so u can stop askin me
askin me why.}











word of e day: GAUCHE [gosh] adj.
meaning: Lacking social polish; tactless. Awkward and clumsy in people's company.
'too gauche to leave the room when the conversation became intimate'

heayaaa!

went to skool to study wit fad. played a game of badminton. despite e strong wind blowing causing alot of wasted serves. in e middle of e game, i tot i heard 'hello sgt!' from behind me. which is e locked classrooms. we were behind e classroom block near 1s bench btw. of cuz fad tried to act cool by saying 'its broad daylight..' haha.. mebbe its juz my imagination. but i really heard it. believe me, anyone?

its was raining real heavily. my dad came to fetch me. and he made me wear e yellow raincoat. i looked like a chick on a bike. funny.

back at home, mother made fish & chips. and dat was my lunner. ahh. nice.

and im downloading more songs. i noe its illegal. but so wat. i cant afford albums.



'i am vindicated
i am selfish
i am wrong
i am right
i swear i'm right
i swear i knew it all along
and i am flawed...'










word of e day: BUMPTIOUS -bump·tious- ['bΛmp∫∂s] adj.
meaning: Crudely or loudly assertive; pushy.

nice.

These words are my own
From my heart flown
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
There's no other way
To better say
I love you, I love you...

urggghh..

im like supposed to be studying..





my bro had nothing better to do den paint my nails wit nail polish. nopes. not my younger bro. e elder one. '''-_-

army open house

after phy remedial.. went to safti wit fad and lp.. den got fard too.. haha! fad................................ =)



btw, i d/led dis song.. my monica..





very meaningful.. to me at least.. ya.. some parts apply...

What makes you think that I would forget about you
Think about it who comes to see ya
Every Saturday and Monday I was on that receiver
It’s me your girl your life your world
My family your friends they just don’t understand
They say I should just leave you lone
But I say that they should just leave us lone
Don’t u get it

I never ever cheated
I never ever lied
So u can stop asking me asking me why
Why I never left you, and why I kept it real
And why im still with you

You should’ve known better than to think I would leave
You should’ve known better than to doubt me
It don’t matter if you are up
matter if you are down
Either way im gonna be around
You should’ve known that I would stay by your side
You should’ve known your girl was gonna ride or die
And it just don’t matter if ya rich or poor
Out or in doing 5 to 10
You should’ve known better

lalala!!

hehs! so yeah.. im back here. feelin kinda high since last night.. becuz.. haha! =)

so mebbe u've heard of e operation i went for? mebbe not.. haha.. had probs in e mount. so went to dentist. and he cut a portion of my gums.. like two pieces. ahhh! of cuz he injected my gums like at a few places to numb it.. i felt e needle poke my gums.. and i had a mini xray before e operation.. haha! its real mini.. e xray piece was like only 1 inch X 1.5 inches.. haha.. yeahh.. cool.. den he started cutting.. of cuz i din feel e pain YET.. it was bleeding qt badly already while i was at e dentist.. den he put some medicine to stop e bleeding.. and it was damn bitter..

and wen i got..i still had to bite e gauze hard.. at e same time swallowing my saliva every 2 secs.. to keep my mouth dry.. i gezz i din swallow enuf.. dats why it was still bleeding even after one hour.. i nearly cried.. cuz i was losing so much blood.. and den i kept spitting out blood and gargled iced water.. den i kinda scared fad.. haha! but i was ok after dat.. only cannot talk properly..

den! e next day.. my mouth hurt like hell.. -it still hurts..- and i cant used my right side to chew.. and i kept eating painkillers..

im a little ok by now.. actually alot ok! ;) hurhur..

den e next day i went for another xray at cairnhill.. cool place.. =)

im baacckk!

hurhur.. after trying to log in here for sooooo long.. i finally manage to do so.. btw, somebody said my blog abit dead. haha.. yeahh.. here it is..

yesterday was super fun.. had aces day.. den immediately after dat fad and i kinda chiong-ed to e back of classroom blk to play badminton! huahuah.. and now my butt and right forearm are aching.. dis shows dat.. haha.. and we plan to play everyday for like half an hour or so.. since it will kinda work on e butt muscles.. hehe.. =)

den i chiong-ed to fps. got my malay frens only. haha.. widya, hafiz, khaliq and farkhan -handsome!-... hehhe.. den met a few teachers.. blah blah blah.. went to study wit dem and bai, syafiq, ashraf -still softy =S-, gary and chixiong came along.. den we separated and four of us went study at tamp lib instead..

and....... i went to airport to get my black billa! and....... my bro got me another billa frm bali! and a billa pencil case too.. its a sling bag.. dirty-green coloured.. nice! =)

gg study later too.. at mp lib or so.. yeahh.. den at night got date wit somebody.. =) nyeh.. wad were u thinking.. i haf an appointment wit my dentist. something wrong wit my gumz.. i dun wanna gooooo... "wo bu yao! bu yao! bu yao!" hahah...

nice.... =)

dere's always dat one person
that will always haf your heart
you never see it comin' cuz
you're blinded from e start
noe dat you're dat one for me,
it's clear for everyone to see
ooh baby, you will always be my boo

=usher feat alicia keys=

www.usherworld.com
ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! =)

so confused

to be or not to be,
dat is e question
i dun noe wat to do
im in a state of confusion
all i want from you is your love and affection
is dis love real or just an illusion?

=2play feat raghav=

tired?

haizz.. not reli tired larhh.. despite sleeping at 4 am in e morning... and waking up at 5.30.. i was totally fresh in class..

came back.. had yesterday's food for lunch/dinner... wells.. ya..

e maid's still here.. so my hse is very clean.. however.. kinda crowded.. i sleep everywhere/anywhere.. my mum's wen dad's not arnd.. my bro's wen he's not arnd.. study table wen i fall asleep on books.. and e smaller living room wen im desperate for space and privacy.. -den again... wad privacy...-

take care ya alls... =)

arghh...

cant get myself to study seriously today.. dun noe why im kinda restless today too.. mebbe cuz ... ya.. haizz.. i think so... ^{..won sid ekil sgniht era yhw}

nothing is on e tv.. not supposed to be watching anyway.. ok.. only got e rally.. and i mean ONLY e rally.. its like on all channels.. yes.. u name it.. suria, channel 5, channel 8, channel u, channel i and channel newsasia too.. walaoo..


--some people want it all
but i dun wan nothing at all
if it ain't you baby
if i ain't got you baby
some people want diamond rings
some just want everything
but everything means nothing
if i ain't got you--

heh.

study. study. study. study. study.

i need to study.

i muz study.

i love to study.

--let me keep freaking around,
i wanna get down
and i'm a red-blooded woman,
what's the point of hanging around?--

study.

lalala.

okehs.. phy remedial was fun!

wen i reached skool, saw e company at e bball court.. brought back memories.. both good and bad ones.. arhs.. how i miss everyone..

den did series.. yeahh.. wit fad..

downloaded some of usher's songs.. gotta need to borrow his cd and burn! harsss...!

^{im twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me dat i need to move on. on e other side i wanna break down and cry.}

=)

g0sh! phy kinda rox.. came back home at abt 6.. had oral.. it was erm.. *self-explainatory* ya..

den had dinner.. and check email and stuff..

by 7 plus i sat down to do work.. did series 8~! woohoo~! den did it like a disciplined child.. and i'm halfway thru.. accompanied by my discman, lovely burnt-cd, and a cup of coffee.. =)

taking a break now..

*breathes in*




























*breathes out*

break over..

ciao!

be gone ya all... =)

=S

tired.



































































im so so tired.







































of everything.

cold..

arhs.. its raining real heavily down here in e east.. and im in my mum's room.. wit e aircon full-blast.. heez.. my toes are freezing..

lucky nv go downtown east to watch e dance.. i'll be a drowned rat if i did... =)

im supposed to forget everything abt it. but soemoned mentioned it.. and i got pissed all over again.. haiz.. _{why muz she say till liddat...} =S

mizundersto0d

haix. dunno wad im feeling now. rather down. its fad's bdae. happy burfday gurl! sure she's gg out wit her loved ones today. no time for me. =( see ya tmr! heexx..

^{i shall be on my own now. noone understands me.}

haf a good day everyone...

swirl....

=\

hais. sher's mad at me. sorry gurl. i actually went out to buy for u harry potter. no intentions of cancelling our plan.

_{i feel so bad.}

-

dots. nthg much to say. had a bad night. dun reli need to describe.

wells, skool was boring. wads new. had a boring assembly. some talk. totally not interresting! crap.

den went airport to study wit shappa, sher and hafie. kinda nice! did maths and more maths. =)

tmr gg again. den can eat at swensens.. =)))))))

take care all..

argh. starting to feel depressed again.

nobody understands us.

_{"started they day by meeting cheryl and ham.. went back to cedar.. supposed to go for the celebration.. but we nv made it.. too bad. stayed to watch the pop. no comments.. just an eye-opener. no matter how.. micheal chia still rocks man!! rock on!! yoyo~! "}

got dis frm sumbody's diary..

i wonder wad dey were told. i guess johnny toh told dem bad things abt us. well, dere's nothing dat we can do to change wad dey think of us. we dun reli like dem in e first place. so hu cares. e feeling's mutual. mc rox? _{rolls eyes.} dey din stay long enuf to experience wad all of dem did to us. den i cant blame dem. cuz dey nv knew.

well, personally,i think even if dey knew, dey wudden haf understood why we did wad we did. dey juz suck.

we were e best batch of specialists. we did so many things for e company. not forgetting e sacrifices we made. and we din even ask for more but a decent passing out parade. dey even dared to admit dat dey even had e intentions of not allowing 2 pltmates pass out wit us. after all dat we've done, dat was e kind of treatment we got. try removing all e achivements dat we got for e company since we were in part as. i bet we wun even haf dat gold unit award. so much for recognising our contributions. bull shit!

i dunno.. but i suddenly feel so angry all over again. its reli not a good feeling. esp combined wit sadness dat everything's over. i still cant accept e fact dat it is reli over. i guess many cant too. try to imagine. we wun be doin things dat we usually do juz becuz we're in ncc. dats like everything.

my part as.

okehs. so here's an entry for dem. dun think any of dem reads my diary anyway. well, i nv noe.

newae, thanx for everthing too. for e presents. i love e bracelet. thanx for making my life as a specialist a wonderful one. =)

^{haizz. now den i realise im starting to miss dem.}

finally.

haizz.. i noe i haven been updating for a long long time. its juz dat i dun come online dat often anymore and sometimes even if i do, i dun haf much things to say.

newae, we're done wit ncc.

Are those your eyes?
Is that your smile?
I been looking at you for ever,
Yet I never saw you before.
Are these your hands?
Holding mine?
Now I wonder how I could have been so blind.
And for the first time,
I am looking in your eyes.
For the first time,
I'm seeing who you are.
I can't believe how much I see,
When you're looking back at me.
Now I understand what love is,
Love is...
For the first time...
Can this be real?
Can this be true?
Am I the person I was this morning?
And are you the same you?
Its all so strange.
How can it be?
All along this love was right in front of me!
And for the first time,
I am looking in your eyes.
For the first time,
I am seeing who you are.
I can't believe how much I see,
When you're looking back at me.
Now I understand what love is...
Love is...
For the first time.
Such a long time ago,
I had given up on finding this emotion,
Ever again.
But you're here with me now,
Yes I found you somehow,
And I've never been so sure.
For the first time,
I am looking in your eyes,
For the first time,
I'm seeing who you are,
Can't believe how much I see,
When you're looking back at me.
Now I understand what love is...
Love is...
For the first time.
For the first time.

-kenny loggins, for the first time-

while others talk abt how dey gonna miss their cadets and all, i shall dedicate dis entry for my beloved pltmates..

well, its been abt 3 and half years dat we've been together. we went thru thick and thin together. e many many times we got into trouble. sec 1, e illegal gathering. sec 2, horrible day. sec 3, suspension. sec 4, major probs wit teachers. not forgetting e usual conflicts here and dere. and misunderstandings dat not only made us more matured, but understand each other better.

i can still rmb clearly how spastic it was for us to force each other to eat together during recess in sec 1. and we actually scolded fellow pltmates who did not turn up. nevertheless, it did help us bond in a way or another. as time passes by, eating together (having french fries for breakfast, indian fare-food for recess and free food from vegetarian stall after skool) becomes daily routine. it comes so naturally dat once we enter e canteen, we'll ask each other, "where's e rest??" it doesnt matter who 'e rest' are. as long as its only another person frm e plt. it goes e same for meeting at a classroom after skool. whether we're gg home or not, we'll juz meet up and ask if each other are gg home, or juz to say hello or bye.

slowly, things start to change. we were no longer needed to plan parades. or even turn up for pts and parades. it was den dat i realise e end was abt to come. only in e matter of time. even till e last most impt event, we had troubles wit e teachers. our POP, however, was totally unique. wit slow march for our bersurai and e new batch of specialists marching in, it definitely made me feel dat it was all worth it. honestly, i feel proud of e part cs. most of us feel safe leaving their cadets in e part cs' hands. i believe dat dey will do a good job.

all in all, i wud definitely love to thank my pltmates hu haf encouraged me on thru difficulties. for brightening up my days. if not for u guys, i wun be hu i am today. i appreciate e things u all haf done for me too. thanx for being my source of happiness and comfort. for being dere for me wenever i needed someone to turn to. for being e way u all are. thanx for being part me. thanx for everything.

sorry if ive been making things difficult for some of u.

for all dese, and everything u guys are, i love ya all.. _delta'04

forever in my mind. delta 'o4.

nice and meaningful.

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
I'm chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me

I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There is nothing else to lose
There is nothing else to find
There is nothing in the world
That could change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

Desperate for changing
Starving for truthI'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you

I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment

^{gonna miss my pltmates. =}

guess whooooooo? check it out at e end of this series of pictures.. =) 

now now.. who's dat chiobu.. =) 

awwwwwww~ 

who's dat gal...? la la la la la la la... 

look at shappa. dats how she'll look like in abt 40 yrs time.. hafie act chio! eheh~ 

cat fight! 

hehe.. = 

shappa looks spastic! and fad. erm. normal. =) 

huahahhaah! its et! =) *peeeekaaaabooo!* 

 -

why is evrything happening so quickly? it's juz too difficult to let go. cedar ncc. =

 

part a specs. w/o evon. =| 

part as and specs =) 

merdin and i
Posted by Hello

mas and i
Posted by Hello

fadz and i =)
Posted by Hello

=

got lotsa things to write abt. but i got no mood now. feel so sick. haven finish studying chem.

bye.

MICHAEL CHIA SUX!

okeh. guess wad im gonna talk abt! heh. dat stupid moron! wad a b*st*rd! he was screaming at us during morning pt. wtf! actually i dun reli care. cuz i noe we did nothing wrong. but e fact dat he actually threatened us! so ridiculous! he kinda embarrassed himself infront of e entire cedar population who are already at e courtyard. wanted to pump us if we dun answer him? heh! he was scared. so he didnt. and he mentioned smth abt "four yrs in ncc, is dis how u answer ur teacher officers?!" walao. in my heart i was saying, "four years in ncc, we've been doin wat e other batches of specs did. and u wanna scold us becuz of our traditions and stuff." come on la. where's e sense in dat. he juz came and wans everyone to adapt to him. wtf! how pathetic.

now i cant reli wait to have nthg to do wit ncc. but part of me hurts to let go of all of it. memories and all. well...

okehs. gtg. gonna haf amaths remedial soon! btw, et is blogging in front of me too.

swirl later!

=)

hehe.  juz changed layout again. prolly gonna stay like dis till after exams or smth. newae, new theme. pink and swirls. tho e colour pink is not reli my type of colour. i think its sweet tho. =)

newaes, got lotsa amaths hw and 2 phy prac reports to be completed. so yeah.

think tmr part a specs gonna go down to ikea to buy stuffos. yepp. cant wait! =)

swirL later!

early night.
 
hoohoo~
 
nthg much to day actually. still abit sick. ya. =
 
newae, emi's hamster died. so sad. cheer up babe!
 
skool was fast today. malay was slack.. as usual. amaths was fine. after recess, had emaths, geog and ss/h.  kinda boring. was so sleepy during ss. ^-yawnz-
 
okehs.  gtg. wanna sleep la.
 
ps: tmr's racial harmony day! bringing alot of clothes for classmates. and shoes for fad. and digi cam. =)
 
nytesssssssssssssssssssss.

sickkkk.
 
haiz. im sick. ponned skool today. having bad flu. =S
 
gtg.
 
ps: ncc day went well. =)

ncc day parade!
 
okehs. so yest was fun! went bras basah to get materials for ROD prezzies! nice! den bumped into 2 part cs! hehe.. dey abit smile²..  newae.. den at outside seiyu dere's dis roadshow thingy. and i answered some crappy qn and won myself 4 movie tix! den fadhil gave us somemore. ok. so we went to watch. at e bugis junction rooftop! so romantic! dere were ten of us dere. den went home lor. at abt 11 liddat.
 
today got ncc day parade. hope everything will go on smoothly. so we dun hafta stand in e sun for so long. pray dat e minister's speech wun last so long. hope nobody will fall out. haizz. hope my back wun hurt. newae. i gotta get ready now. n its pass 1030 and im supposed to meet e macpherson peepz at 1115! heh. gonna be late. ok. wats new! =P  
 
tadaaa! haf a nice day! -mmuuuuuuuaaaaaacccccccckkkkkkkkkkssss-
 
 

irritated.

dunno why. but i feel so irritated ryt now. cuz of some stuffos. some pple juz dunno how to organise things properly. and juz blow up at others. i dunno la.

newae, tmr got phy remedial. after dat gg meet e rez to look at atuff arnd bras basah. rod stuff. juz in case some cadets have an access to my blog. i wun type out wad stuffos we givin dem. ya.  but i bet it will be nice. =)

 

  
 

still in shock.
 
ok. u'll wan to noe why. dat stupid dumbass juz tol dus dat we dun need to come for pts and parades anymore. wtf! and before dat he made e whole company do pumpings. wth. actually i dun reli care. cuz its only 10. dats not e shocking part. e ten pumpings he made us do did not affect me anyway. well, i was kinda irritated. wanna act garang. go fuck off larh. claire was behind me and she kept saying 'go fuck off lah!' and stuff liddat.
 
den, after e cadets bersurai-ed, he told us dat we need not come for pts and parades! like hello? cant u tell us like way before dat?? so much for respecting our ranks. walaoo.. and we din even get to say our 'last gudbyes' and stuff.. so evil.. kinda felt like crying wen i think abt it. i noe dat its only e matter of time before we officially step down. but u noe, telling us on dat day itself! dats e meanest thing sumone can do. ok. not reli. he did other mean stuff to our plt and company!
 
-haizz.. abt only afew more weeks left before POP and ROD.- 

cool songs!

heyz. so i got fad to burn a cd for me! haha! all malay songs tho. KRU. nice babeh. all e old songs. was listening to it using discman while studying geog. now im listening hiphop non-stop thingy. ya. new one. dunno where my sis got it frm. nice new songs. yupp.

ok.. gtg now. ciao! =)

stooopidd.

lalala. came up here to blog awhile. btw, im in comp lab. was doin phy report. and i realised my readings were, well, too perfect. and after awhile, decided to ask fad and hafie. guess wad. i did e whole expt wrongly. wow! felt reli stupid. im like so pathetic. how to pass physics like dis. fuck la. simple things like reading instructions properly also i cannot do. hiazzz~

newae, i gotta go home and study geog! wait. still got e dumb malay compo. smth geography-ish too. kinda very diff to translate into malay. i'll prolly take e whole day to complete it. good luck.

newae, its already almost e end of week 3. which mean we are dat closer to prelims. abt 4 more weeks. aka ONE MONTH or so. walao. if i were to screw up, i hope i wun screw up dat badly. i gotta do dis seriously man. its no more playtime.

i noe its very easy to say den do. duh. actions speak louder den words. distractions come easily. and i get carried away.

life's a bitch!

='(

last night was bad. after i blogged awhile den i lied on my bed. turned on e radio and switched off e lights. set my alarm and decided to send gudnyte msges to a few pple. all of a sudden i felt reli reli tired. i mean. i dunno how else i wud describe it but ya. i felt reli exhausted.

i tried to go to sleep but i ended up reminding myself dat i only had 5 weeks or so left. and i haven studied much. i started to cry and i couldnt stop it. den i tot abt more things. like i wudden wan to disappoint my parents. i can imagine e expressions on their faces wen i show dem my results. e disappointed looks.

and ROD is coming. like i gotta let go of all e things which ive been holding on to for 3 and half yrs.. as in ncc. me and my dearest pltmates. dey are e closest grp of frens i haf in cedar. and we are all bonded thru ncc. i wudden trade any of dem for anything in dis world. and all of a sudden, e tots of me having to leave cedar witout dem is reli hurtful. it hurts me so much dat i haf to let go of all dese things.

its juz dat its so fast. actually its too fast. i can still rmb e first day wen i walked into e foyer. and all.. anyway, we are left wit pathetic 3 mths in cedar.. can u believe dat.. 3 mths.. if 3 yrs can go by juz like dat. u cant imagine how fast 3 mths can be.

before u noe it, it'll all be over. things will be different. im so scared. scared i might not survive well witout all dese.

i tot abt all dese. cried more. i dun rmb wad time i stopped. ya. i cried myself to sleep. woke up wit swollen eyes.

hiazz.. i feel so stressed out.

tiredddd..

hiazz.. dunno why nowadays i feel so tired. i dun think i've not had enuf rest. i sleep normally every night. abt at least 5hrs of sleep. nad i feel fatigue. kinda very exhausted. had to drag myself out of bed every morning. im very sure e 'tiredness' only started dis week.

i tried to do tys. and i fell asleep on my books. and i wasnt even on my bed. my god. i put my head on e table. and i fell asleep.

and here i am. i juz woke up. its 11. came online to see hu are arnd.

i feel so pathetic. after skool study sessions haf not been reli dat productive. i feel so bad. prelims are getting nearer each day. fyi, dere's only abt 5 weeks left. -wk 4 to wk 8- can u believe dat? 5 weeks! only! im so dead. =(

Guys are like stars - so many to pick from
but only one can make all your dreams come true!

- Lindy Strahan -

lalala~ in comp lab now. was doin emaths. ya. came up to print smth for my bro. so decided to change templte awhile. and mebbe post smth up here. so ya. e quote. nice eh? and very true. and sweet. =)

gtg! tataa!

booo

so yeahh. juz came back frm skool. went down to hq wit e part as. dey are very lucky to learn technical handling and wit demonstrations using real rifles. wen we were part as, we had boring theory lessons in classrooms, and had to draw parts of e rifle and imagine how dey wud look like in real life. pathetic man. haiz~ times have changed.

oh wells. ryy is reli cute. mebbe in sec 2 he looked abit kuku. but yeah. he's damn cute actually. haha!

every pe lesson is a torture. mr toh made me do arm power trainings and stuff. actually its ok. i juz hate e incilned sit ups. kinda hurts my back even more. sucker.

tired la. my eng essay still halfway done. my ribcage hurts. on both sides.

oUch!

my back hurts.. juz came back frm ncc day rehearsal.. dere's dis sharp pain arnd e area at my lower back..pain...

im kinda tired. nytes.

great day! great day!

eheh! went to skool early² to study.. dere were fad, shuxian, her frens, simaa, peigin and mich tang..

den wy came. had phy remedial till 3. kinda cool. qt fun also. mr yau is so funny. =)

den go meet ayub. haha! he's supposed to come to skool den take bus from macpherson. so ya he din. cuz he had some knee injury. so i walked to pp. haha. and take bus to far east. makan at puncak. e honey dew chicken noodle was not bad! den we walked aimlessly to everywhere. haha. and i bumped into mei feng! haha! den i stupidly suggested we take bus back to bedok. 401. my god! endless. it passed by e whole stretch of east coast park.

and i walked home. bumped into kak liyana. and haikel! eheh.. fishy fishy.. =)

tmr got ncc day rehearsal. haven prepare uni yet. tmr i wake up early to starch and polish boots la. ya. ok. nytes all. im tired. walked too much. =)

lalala

bleahsss...

bored here.. gonna do phy later. wy and i decided to share e torture of completing series 6. i voluntered to do 1st half nad she e 2nd half. den we copy. wahaha!

still in skool uni. my sis threw dot in e bathroom to make him shit. den she bathed. so ya. i came online. and still online after qt sometime now.

hiazz. feelin kinda stressed out. starting to work a lil harder now. i noe a little is not enuf. but ya. im workin on it yeah. gimme some encouragements can. haizz.

neway, mebbe tmr after phy remedial i gg out awhile. buy a car or smth. im looking for my cardillac escallade! yeah!

nytes!

yikes!

okehs. so mr yau scolded us cuz of practical reports again. seriously, we are dat stubborn. dun listen to him. forget watever he said and stuff. haiz. mebbe its only a small grp. and i belong to dat grp. im such a bad gal. and i haven done his work seriously. im bad. =(

neways, stayed back in skool to do geog. yeah! i did it. on my own. actually wit some help frm fad. and during malay, hafie made me bleed. like i felt so weak cuz i lost alot of blood. ^{yeah ryt..}

i haf to study hist. seriously, i dun haf any liking for dat subject. not even e littlest bit. i only took it cuz ive been coerced into it. i mean, it comes wit pure geog and e onl other combi wit pure geog in it was wit elective lit. erm. lit! no way. my languages sux. come to think of it. my humanities sux. maths sux. sciences. wanna guess? ya. dey suck too.

i gotta reli wake up man. i juz dun haf e energy to.

_{things to do after dis..
1- el essay on 'challenges dat bring out e best in young people'..
2- amaths hw
3- study hist}

ok lah! gtg ready..

hungry + tired + flu-ish + sleepy = a totally bad combination.

haizz. ya. kinda hungry. and runny nose. firstly, i tot dat dere wud be food at home. no. secondly, i tot my mum wud bring food home. no. thirdly, my bro went out for dinner and i expected him to buy food home. so, did he? no. fourthly, mum called dad to bring home food. he said he's away and wun be coming back till morning. so, still got food? no. a bloody effing no. ok. not dat im starving or dat im gonna die any sooner -actually i am-, i haven reli eaten. e last thing was pathetic sandwiches which i threw away e sides. ya. quite ok tho. i dunno why i sound so pissed. i kinda screamed at my bro to ask him to switch off e fan cuz he was not using it anymore. and mum woke up to ask wat happened. and i juz stormed off to my seat. and mumbled 'nothing la.....' so rude. feel so bad. newae, she was groggy. so i hope she din realise i was reli having some kind attitude problem.

plus! its not good to be hungry and having a running nose. my dearest pltmates noe dat 'a hungry me is an angry me'. ya. geddit? im not reli angry. juz feel irritated. effing irritated. totally.

talking abt attitude problem. some pple juz happen to hate other pple with no rhyme or reason. for example, dat sec 3 woman who claims dat all sec 4 'think they're so kewl want to act minah and all this but seriously, they all kental like fuck.' ya. its like H A H A ! like hello? u can only find most of e minah from e sec 3s. other den one or two who are sec 4s.

neway, i juz finished my ss essay. kinda long-winded. but den again, i dun haf e skills to create a perfect piece of an essay. especially for ss or hist(e). talking abt hist(e), i told fad dat choosing e subject at e end of sec 2 was already considered a death sentence for me. haizz. bad bad move.

now im being long-winded. den again, hu cares. u can stop reading now if u haf yawned like for e 15678909213456761409184891741261576781908th time since u started reading dis.

so ya. i feel like continuing. dot is happily sleeping on my pencil case. good pillow eh? with many useless, broken, ink-less, cheepo pens and pencils.

i feel nauseaous. shall read up on geog notes now. population. altho tmr is an open book test. i feel it wud be better if im a little prepared. yeah. so ya! bye!

_{stomach: -grumbles-grumbles-grumbles-}

skydive!

hey ya'all...

guess wad? felt kinda patriotic and decided to browse thru www.ndp.org! eheh.. cool webby tho.. and dere's lots of carnival before and after nat day. one of which is e fireworks carnival. on e 1st, 8th and 15th august! damn cool. i make sure i go for one of dese.

den there's dis part at www.jumponsingapore.com! dis site abt another carnival. where skydivers perform. on e 20th-22nd august! and got dis part..

Tandem Registration

Be among the first in Singapore to participate in the ride of your lifetime..well next to a space shuttle flight to mars really.

Tandem jumpers require no registration fee or equipment. Please note that only those 16 years and above can jump.

cool ryt!?!?!?!!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?! i wannnnnnnnnn...........

but...

All tandem jump slots have been taken up and registration for Tandem Jumps is now closed due to overwhelming response! Thank you for your interest and support!

haizz.. so sad.

mad cat.

and guess wad. he's now sleepin on my bed. beside e laptop. wait. not sleeping. he's wagging he's tail to e music. erm. perfect ten songs. =)

i love dot.

?

came back from religious class. only wit rai. sharifah overslept. haha! so yeah. using my sis' laptop. and my crazy cat is trying to pull of e charger from e laptop. he's like bitting it real hard. and e comp's shaking. haha! jhfyewjnfsdf87ayhasnfj.

haf a nice day!

gg swim later!

=)

yeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

so syfoc was fun! eheh.. not reli.. i came late. din get to watch fad command. but i heard her frm outside!

after dat was super duper fun!

nytes ya all!

juz came back from skool. had chem prac. was not too bad. ya. den stayed till two and did maths. went home.

syfoc today. later. dunno if im gg. dun feel like. for a couple of reasons. ya.

to go?:
1. watch fad
2. bored at home
3. lonely

or ^not to go?:
1. look after bro
2. study
3. -
4. -
5. undone holiday assignments
6. not in e mood to go out

so... shud i or shud i not? if i dun go, i'll surely study for next week's chem test. ya.

almoz got killed juz now. on my way home, walked behind dis mat who was e goalkeeper and playing soccer wit his mat frens. for a moment i din noe wad happened. he did catch e bloody ball and it flew past my face, abt 10cm away. i froze dere like for a few seconds. fortunately i wasnt hit by it. i wud haf a broken jaw or cheekbone or skull or nose or scratched my face and bleed to death, if e ball had hit me. sucker. phEw!

hmm.

haiz. its like abt eleven now. to wait or not to wait.

anyway, i cant sleep. my back hurts.

=(

=)

woohoo! i finally managed to change my layout. it was juz black and white previously. so i added some crimson and other shades of red. ya. e old layout was not very me. suicidal stuffos all over. haha.

anyway, had a haircut juz now. went all e way to amk to cut. ten bucks. its all worth it. went wit fad lp wy and az. fad's hair is cool! eheh. az said its outrageous. haha. lp got short fringe. so girly la. mine's so thin. den wen its tied, it'll look like gy's ponytail. erm, no comments. =)

feeling kinda feverish. tmr got chem prac. haizz.

first day of skool..

lalala.. new term starts today.. kinda wasted e holidays.. go out.. and go out.. stay at home and do nothing.. and camp preparations and e camp itself.. guess i forgot all abt hw..

and.. nothing much happened actually.. first period.. mdm lum.. she was abit kind today.. den it was pe.. and guess wat.. johnny toh.. is our new pe teacher.. how cartoonish is dat..and e rest of e day went well.. boring chem..
stayed in skool awhile to do some maths.. bleahss~

tmr got ncc day rehearsal after skool.. same old stuffos..

gotta do more maths now..

haha