Wednesday, July 14, 2004

='(

last night was bad. after i blogged awhile den i lied on my bed. turned on e radio and switched off e lights. set my alarm and decided to send gudnyte msges to a few pple. all of a sudden i felt reli reli tired. i mean. i dunno how else i wud describe it but ya. i felt reli exhausted.

i tried to go to sleep but i ended up reminding myself dat i only had 5 weeks or so left. and i haven studied much. i started to cry and i couldnt stop it. den i tot abt more things. like i wudden wan to disappoint my parents. i can imagine e expressions on their faces wen i show dem my results. e disappointed looks.

and ROD is coming. like i gotta let go of all e things which ive been holding on to for 3 and half yrs.. as in ncc. me and my dearest pltmates. dey are e closest grp of frens i haf in cedar. and we are all bonded thru ncc. i wudden trade any of dem for anything in dis world. and all of a sudden, e tots of me having to leave cedar witout dem is reli hurtful. it hurts me so much dat i haf to let go of all dese things.

its juz dat its so fast. actually its too fast. i can still rmb e first day wen i walked into e foyer. and all.. anyway, we are left wit pathetic 3 mths in cedar.. can u believe dat.. 3 mths.. if 3 yrs can go by juz like dat. u cant imagine how fast 3 mths can be.

before u noe it, it'll all be over. things will be different. im so scared. scared i might not survive well witout all dese.

i tot abt all dese. cried more. i dun rmb wad time i stopped. ya. i cried myself to sleep. woke up wit swollen eyes.

hiazz.. i feel so stressed out.

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